The Three Levels of Lasting Change

Why solving the problem isn't always what creates the breakthrough

Most leaders come to coaching with a very clear picture of the problem they want to solve.

They may be looking for better time management skills, greater confidence and presence in leadership meetings, stronger communication and influencing skills, or help navigating a difficult relationship at work.

Usually, they also have a fairly clear idea of what they believe the solution should look like. They expect to learn a new technique, develop a specific skill, or discover a strategy that will make the problem go away.

Those are important starting points. But over almost 5000  hours of coaching, I've noticed something surprising.

The issue clients bring to coaching is rarely where the most meaningful change ultimately happens.

More often, the presenting issue is simply the doorway into something deeper.

Rather than looking only for solutions, I first try to understand the challenge through three interconnected lenses. Together they form what I think of as The Three Levels of Lasting Change.

Level One – Understanding the Situation

What is actually happening?

How does the client understand the challenge?

What is within the client's control, influence, or ability to approach differently?

Level Two – Understanding the Person

What's happening beneath the surface?

What emotions, assumptions, strengths, values, preferences or habitual patterns are shaping the client's response?

Level Three – Strengthening the Foundation

Does the client have the physical and emotional capacity to navigate the challenge well?

Are they getting the sleep, exercise, recovery and balance that allow them to think clearly, regulate emotions and perform at their best?

The emphasis we place on each level varies from client to client. Some arrive with strong self-awareness. Others have already built healthy habits that support resilience.

But I've found that meaningful, sustainable change rarely comes from addressing only one level.

The most lasting change happens when practical action, greater self-awareness and personal wellbeing work together.

What this looks like in practice

Example One

Feeling overwhelmed, overloaded and unable to keep up

One of the most common reasons leaders seek coaching is that they simply feel overwhelmed.

The pace of work has become relentless. Priorities constantly shift. New demands arrive before old ones have been completed.

At first glance, this appears to be a problem of time management.

Looking more deeply often reveals a far more complex picture.

For example, when we explored one client's situation more fully, it became clear that several of her own behaviours were unintentionally contributing to the problem. She had difficulty saying no, hesitated to delegate, and had gradually lost sight of what truly mattered. Every request felt equally important.

As we continued exploring, a deeper pattern emerged. She was driven by a strong desire to be helpful, a fear of disappointing others, and a belief that working harder alone would eventually solve the problem.

Together we also looked at the foundation beneath her leadership—her wellbeing, energy, and emotional and physical stamina. She was regularly working until late evening, sleeping poorly, exercising less, and surviving on convenience meals. She wasn't simply busy—she was exhausted.

Before deciding what actions to take, we explored questions such as:

• Which responsibilities are genuinely yours?

• What assumptions make it difficult to say no?

• Where could delegation strengthen both you and your team?

• What would help restore your energy?

Only then did we begin experimenting with new approaches.

She protected focus time, clarified priorities, delegated more intentionally, and practised setting clearer boundaries. At the same time, she began challenging the beliefs that made those changes difficult and gradually rebuilt the habits that restored her energy.

Notice what happened.

If we had focused only on productivity techniques, she might have become more organized—but she still would have struggled to say no.

If we had explored only her beliefs without changing her behaviour, little would have changed day to day.

And if she had continued running on empty, neither approach would have been sustainable.

The breakthrough came because all three levels worked together.

Example Two

Staying grounded in difficult conversations

Another leader came to coaching because he wanted to communicate more effectively with a senior colleague whose confrontational style during leadership team meetings left him feeling defensive and unable to influence the conversation.

Initially, it appeared to be a communication problem.

As we looked more closely, however, it became clear that the real challenge ran deeper.

Whenever this colleague challenged him, he became emotionally triggered. His thinking narrowed. He reacted rather than responded. In those moments, he simply couldn't access the thoughtful leadership he was capable of.

As we explored what was happening beneath the surface, we discovered two important influences.

He had built his career on exceptional technical expertise and wasn't accustomed to having his judgement questioned.

Respect was also one of his core values. Treating others respectfully—and being treated with respect—was fundamental to the leader he wanted to be. His colleague's aggressive style felt less like disagreement and more like a personal attack.

Using the Grounding Process, he learned to recognize his emotional reactions, regulate his nervous system, and regain access to clear thinking before responding.

Only then did it make sense to begin experimenting with new communication strategies—becoming more curious, listening more deeply, validating where appropriate, and responding with greater confidence and composure.

His established mindfulness practice, regular exercise and commitment to maintaining balance also proved to be important strengths. Those habits strengthened his emotional resilience and made it easier to remain grounded under pressure.

Again, the three levels worked together.

Without emotional awareness, communication strategies would have felt forced.

Without practical communication skills, greater self-awareness would have remained insight rather than action.

Without a strong personal foundation, sustaining either would have been far more difficult.

How coaching creates lasting change

These examples illustrate why coaching is much more than offering advice or prescribing techniques.

Rather, coaching becomes a process of exploring the situation from multiple perspectives, understanding the person experiencing it, and strengthening the foundation that supports lasting change.

Together we explore what may be driving the challenge beneath the surface.

We gently reframe assumptions that are no longer serving the client.

We identify practical actions that fit the client's personality, strengths and leadership style.

Most importantly, we treat these actions as experiments, not permanent solutions.

A leader might try one new boundary.

One different conversation.

One pause before responding.

One new question in a meeting.

At our next session we reflect together.

What happened?

What surprised you?

What felt easier?

What did you learn about yourself?

Each experiment builds greater confidence, insight and capability.

Over time, lasting change becomes less about solving today's problem and more about becoming the kind of leader who can navigate tomorrow's challenges with greater confidence, resilience and perspective.

You can begin today

Whatever challenge you're facing as a leader, it can be helpful to pause before rushing to solve it.

Instead, step back and explore it through the same three lenses.

Ask yourself:

• What is the real challenge I'm trying to address?

• What part of this situation is genuinely within my control or influence?

• What thoughts, assumptions, emotions or habits might be shaping the way I'm responding?

• What strengths or personal values could help me navigate this challenge more effectively?

• Am I giving myself the sleep, activity, recovery and balance I need to think clearly and lead well?

• What's one small experiment I could try this week?

You may discover that the challenge isn't quite what it first appeared to be.

Sometimes the breakthrough isn't found by working harder on the problem.

Sometimes it begins by looking at the challenge through a different lens—understanding the situation more clearly, understanding yourself more deeply, and strengthening the foundation that allows you to respond at your best.

That's where lasting change begins.

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If this article resonated with you, I invite you to download my complimentary guide, Finding Your Ground, where I explore the Grounding Process in greater depth and provide additional questions and practical tools to help you put it into practice.

And if you’re navigating a challenging leadership situation, a career setback or another important turning point, I’d be delighted to help you find your ground and move forward with greater clarity and confidence. Book a consultation

About Elaine

Elaine Sigurdson is an executive coach who works with mid to later career leaders and professionals at important turning points: leadership pressure that has become unsustainable, capability that isn't being recognized, and the question of what comes next.